My friend Lucia Rios shared the following post on Facebook the other night:
“A situation has been gnawing at me since Friday. I believed at the time, and the next day, that it was ironic and tried to shrug it off as a person who meant well. Yet the feelings of inadequacy surfaced and doubt reared over my spirit.
I co-facilitated an eight hour training on diversity, inclusion and disability. It was amazing! I learned so much, felt purpose and was excited to engage leaders in understanding.
Before arriving home I stopped at the store. I engaged with the cashier and this was how the conversation went.
Cashier: How are you?
Me: Tired. I'm so glad it's Friday.
Cashier: You work?
Me: Yes.
Cashier: Do you know you can get social security disability?
Me: Uh, yeah.
Cashier: Do you work so you can get out of the house?
Me: Yeah. (I didn't want to go through the motions of telling her what I could do.) I like to be around people.
This, my friends, is not an exaggeration. Assumptions are made so easily, and my ability is defined before I even speak. It's the visible that defines what I can or cannot do and that is disabling.
I share these examples to educate. I don't want comments saying how inspiring or strong I am. This is my reality. I am a human being living and contributing among those who only see the circumstances I was born with. Who only see the wheelchair, short stature and what are presumed to be physical limitations.
Attitudes and assumptions are truly more disabling than using a wheelchair. If only we could see one another based on how much they have to offer.
My spirit feels sad tonight. I just wanted to acknowledge that for myself, but also hope we can all look at one another as human beings with so much potential.”
Lucia has a wonderful job at Disability Network Lakeshore. She is a passionate advocate and educator in the community. She tirelessly breaks down barriers between those with disabilities and those without. She is a phenomenal author and speaker. Her wheelchair does not define her. Unfortunately for Lucia, and others with visible disabilities, many people see the wheelchair or other noticeable differences first and don’t take the time to get to know the fabulous person beyond.
It is extremely unfortunate that we are missing out on opportunities in our communities because we don’t see the tremendous ABILITIES in people. We are so accustomed to noticing the exterior first that we miss the unique skills people have to offer. Never assume people don’t work simply because they have a disability. Ask where they work, what they do for a living - questions you would typically ask someone you just met. Most individuals want to work. They want to give back to their communities, they want connection with others, and they want to use their gifts and skills. Like all of us, they want PURPOSE in their lives. We need to start noticing and appreciating the potential in each other. By discounting even one person, a piece of the puzzle is missing that makes up our world, resulting in an incomplete work of art. To quote Lucia, “Attitudes and assumptions are truly more disabling than using a wheelchair.”